Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
and she was petting her beer can
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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