I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
