You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
