You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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