I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
