Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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