i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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