What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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