I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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