One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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