..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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