it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
