before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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