the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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