He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize