so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
