apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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