Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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