My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
