What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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