Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
