Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
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My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
And then my night got REAL pukey
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
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