I'm gonna have a badass scar
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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