On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
