My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
