I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
