i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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