Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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