So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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