jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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