i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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