Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
