Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
two words: eviction party
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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