new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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