Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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