I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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