then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
