i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
