I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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