Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
