I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
