Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
