I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
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Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
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Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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