I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
