I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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