Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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