Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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