I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize