every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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