apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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