So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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