Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm bleeding and have questions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
