True but thats because hes a fetus.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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