Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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