I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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