My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
